It’s not going to come as a surprise to anyone that I am saying this but I am a jackass. Now I don’t mean this in a pathetic self-demeaning sort of way, it’s just a fact of life and anyone who knows me will nod in agreement; however, here’s the thing, I like it that way.
I don’t like feeling too close to people; I don’t trust people to do anything (there are a few exceptions, but not many.) so being a jackass helps keep the balance. I like the fact that most people are driven away from me as a person I feel it keeps a degree of professionalism in my day to day life, I relish in opportunities to belittle and patronise anyone and everyone it’s just who I am.
Well… now I am on the group work module, probably the best time to try and address the balance a little, maybe. Being a misanthropic soul it’s very difficult to talk to people as people, the organisational side of things is fine, getting the work done is fine but for the first time in forever I’m in a situation where I need to trust others and, well, treat them with some respect. Easier said than done.
I’m doing well so far; the group have held together Ok and I haven’t been awful to anyone as of yet! I have at least pretended to trust people and give them the benefit of the doubt but God damn it all it’s hard. Though I have been blessed with the group I have been put with.
I suppose a little change never hurt anyone and maybe I should consider other’s feelings more… but it would be easier if people weren’t so fucking stupid.
I end with a quote from Albert Rosenfield… “…I’ve had enough of morons and half-wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells, and you chowderhead yokel, you blithering hayseed, you’ve had enough of me?”
I guess a lot of people have… but their loss is my gain, the gain of silence.
